A lucky crowd was happily surprised when an unannounced Brook Hogan suddenly took the stage and gave a jaw dropping, clothes stripping performance at Chakra Lounge in Miami last week.

Which makes Brook 10 times better than any girl I’ve ever dated, because the only surprise I get is gonorrhea in the morning, and a swift kick to the nuts when I try to stretch my roofies time limit to 3 and a half hours and my now semi-coherent “date” realizes that refreshing ice cold popsicle she’s been enjoying for the last few minutes isn’t quite as cold as she originally thought and no where near as refreshing, but twice as nutritious and three times as sticky.

Groet.